dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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