she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Randomize
