you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The best revenge is premature balding
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
