so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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