also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
