There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
