ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize