Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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