you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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