I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
