I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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