i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
