is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
