Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
