I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
