belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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