I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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