So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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