what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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