I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
