You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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