Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I deserve to be covered in dicks
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
