She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
How's work?
Spinning.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
