If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
