WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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