Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize