saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
