if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize