M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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