Non-Jews are for practice
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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