someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
