I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
