yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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