I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
