I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
