Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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