Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
