you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Less talking, more tequila
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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