Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
