What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
