dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
