We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
