you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
