tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
