Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
