What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We need to get me chipped asap
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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