Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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