Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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