you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
