Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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