ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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