Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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