I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
