I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
