So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
