I like my sex mixed with concussions.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
