Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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