sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
