I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
