I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize