I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
