we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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