Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I deserve this hangover.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
