just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
