Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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